There was a story I read long back. It was the story of a married couple who still snatched longing glances at each other at parties, they still sent love sms to each other, and at times went out on dates. I was so riveted by the whole idea of a husband sending lustful signals at his own wife at a party, unbeknown to the guests around them, a secret communication known only to them.

How could their desire be still like a live wire after many years of being married? Because they did small things (like glances) for each other, they intrigued each other and continue to find each other an unending source of mystery.

It seems that life breathes in these small things, in these little moments. If one recognizes this simple truth, the whole life, including the sex life can brighten up the blind spots left by hectic work schedules and piles of unwashed utensils in the kitchen sink.

Writer Alberto Moravia, who has written quite intimately about married couple and the complexities within, has said one of the joys in life is to watch your partner from far and feel love and desire.

Sex is at the core of life and needs to be celebrated in all its glory.

The mantra for a successful sex life after marriage is that you should never think that the days of 'courtship' are over. Remember how much fun it was when you were dating. Even now you should continue to explore, to seek and try to be desirable, try to tickle your better half at every opportunity you get so that he/she remains interested in you and can't help but express that interest, that desire by being physically intimate with you.

And now that you are married, the earlier boundaries set by the girlfriend-boyfriend status can be easily broken. You can have a go with each other in a wholesome manner, without fear and limits. Now you already know each other quite intimately because of the fact of sharing the bed and kitchen, so to say.

In marriage, you need to nurture love and desire with equal intensity and effort.

Silent or verbal over-criticism and too much expectation can erode sexual desire. Don't poke at her sensitive nerve if your wife is not looking her best, come on, she is working in the kitchen. Or don't you start thinking what a slob you married when you see his hair all disheveled and eyes looking so very sleepy. He is just getting up after a sound sleep.

Tentative touches in the kitchen, holding hands and squeezing, a kiss on the nape while your husband is making chai or reading newspaper, bit of teasing in the passages can go a long way in keeping the interest in sex alive.
Also you need to continually do something new, pursue hobbies and interests so that you remain a mystery and source of amusement for your partner all the time. He/she should think you are the most desirable being on the planet.

You should never become complacent just because you have got married now. Don't ever take your partner for granted and as somebody who is available to you anyways. You will not only make yourself unhappy, you will also end up making another one unhappy.

Few of the things you can do to keep your sex life alive are:

a gift when it is most unexpected
dress up and look so swell that it is a big turn on for your spouse
keep the communication channels open
Talk openly about your sexual desires
Have a build-up to your lovemaking through the day, like touches, hugs, kisses, teases on a routine day
Make sex as your priority. Don't put it aside or postpone too much
Talk about your expectation from lovemaking to your partner
Make calls during the day, send email, notes etc. as a run up to lovemaking
Don't be grouchy or neglectful of your partner during the day. You can't suddenly expect your partner to get all excited about sex if you have been neglecting him/her since morning
Don't make your sex an imitation of sexual scenes in movies. Be real, be natural
Love, care and know each other. You can go a great length with one person in your life
Share thoughts, ideas and doubts
Take holidays together
And spend some period being a celibate so that you can renew your sexual desire.