Arrival of a second child into the household is often greeted with resentment and jealousy by the first child. The feeling of rivalry sets in because parents and especially mother has to often focus their attention on the new born. The first child feels neglected like a worn out dress.

And it is inexplicable to the first child why her parent's attention and affection has suddenly got divided and a major portion of that has gone to the baby who just arrived and who does nothing but sleep through the day, or lie down or do pee and potty all the time.

Sibling rivalry is expressed in many open and subtle ways. The older child is often known to pinch or hurt the new baby when the mother's back is turned to them. Some children often show their anger towards mother and turn cranky and weepy to draw mummy's attention to them.

Some first born children show no enmity towards the new born but they are secretly thinking that the new born child will be taken back someday to where it came from, that is hospital or wherever they are imaging the baby has come from.

Some keep their jealousy suppressed and it comes out in their behavior, for example becoming sulky or quiet or not listening to the parents or doing exact opposite of what parents ask them to. They may even be given to breaking things round the house.

Sibling rivalry, in most cases, is inevitable though degrees may vary. Preparing the child for the arrival of the new baby and making him/her part of the new baby's child care is the only way out.

Talk to your first born about during the pregnancy and make him/her part of it. Let him/her feel the baby's movement inside the belly. If possible, get the child to the hospital when the new born arrives. Or if that is not possible, greet the child with a hug and a kiss when you come back from the hospital.

Do not leave the new born and the older child alone in a room.

Post pregnancy period can be very tiring and time-consuming for the mother. And new mothers tend to get irritable at times. In this backdrop, a jealous or cranky first child can be an extra burden and mothers may impulsively snap at them or ignore them for the new baby's needs have to be attended to anyways. Do not snap at the older child for it is bound to blame the first child for this and may start thinking that you no longer love him/her.

Ask your husband to take care of the first child more than he did before and play an active role at being a father. This may somehow balance things out. Making husband an equal partner in taking care of this jealous scenario can help a great deal in dealing with the situation.

Also try and pay as much attention as possible to the needs of the older child for even the first born is still young and is not wholly independent. Ask your husband to do so if you are physically unable to.

But in spite of that, train him/her to do certain tasks on his own and praise him/her for that. Also ask his/her help in playing with the new baby and thus make him part of this new wonder happening in the house.

Mothers do lot of coochi-cooing, patting and pampering of the new born. The first child often feels loss of 'mummy' when she observers this. She will do all kinds of weird things, like getting messy, crying, or wetting bed to get your attention of 'mummy'. Be patient with her and do not ridicule her.

At the same time slowly explain her how much you need her help and how difficult it is for you. Children can often understand this. Seek their sympathy in words that makes them feel important as an older child.

Also ask the guests visiting the new born to be attentive to the first one even while they are cooing the new born. If they are getting gifts for the first one, ask those whom you can, to get something for the first one too.

And lastly, a woman's life is like a whirlwind. The change from the wife to a first time mother was like passing through a storm and now being a second time mother can be quite challenge in spite of being experienced.

To keep a balance with two kids and husband and then your own work and career can be often too demanding, in fact grueling. Do what you can the best way possible and then relax. Do not feel guilty or prosecute yourself too much.